Much like most of my Saturday nights, Go Burger is a foggy mystery. Even though the website portrays Go Burger as a reputable brand with two New York restaurants, the truck itself remains enigmatic. It’s more difficult to find than other food trucks because the location of the truck isn’t regularly disclosed over Twitter, and it doesn’t seem to stick to a set weekly schedule.
On one of the off-days that Go Burger decided to do themselves a favor and tweet their location, I tried the BLT Burger: double smoked bacon, lettuce, tomato, and BLT burger sauce. Like usual, I was starving from being emotionally beaten by Corporate America and I wolfed the burger down so fast I could barely remember anything about it besides the fact that I liked it and didn’t feel ill after (Five Guys burgers are usually accompanied by a 2 hour recovery period after consuming). I treated the BLT Burger like my cats treat a piece of turkey that has been accidentally dropped on the floor, and ate it so fast that I realized I had nothing to write about. The only logical conclusion was that I’d have to go back for further research another day. A sacrifice I was willing to make for the good of mankind.
Being a woman of my word, I next tried the Philly Burger: onions, peppers, pickled jalapenos (although I abstained from the jalapenos because I was not up for such a physical challenge), and melted provolone. Again, pretty good, but nothing too distinguishable. Sure I liked it, but I couldn’t really figure out much more to say about it than “yeah, it was good.” This leads me to realize that perhaps my initial encounter with the BLT Burger was not necessarily due to the fact that I wolfed the burger down like a rabid dog, but was more due to the fact that these burgers are amorphous. There is no concrete redeeming quality about them and the burgers need some sort of trademark that will really define the brand. They’re not that unique, and I’m certain you could find an equivalent option at many other bars or fast food establishments. If, for some reason, someone blindfolded me and force fed me a Go Burger (not that I’d really object to this scenario), I highly doubt I’d be able to differentiate and victoriously exclaim “By jove! That is a Go Burger!”
Eating Go Burger was kind of like making out with a stranger in a bar when you’re browned out. You know you had fun, but their face is fuzzy in your mind and you certainly cannot provide your friends with a name of the said creature. You know it happened, but there isn’t much more to say than that. Similarly, Go Burger is a good time, but if your friends started asking you to provide details, you’d probably be at a loss for words.